Positive Self Talk

We always have conversations in our heads. It could be related to some professional issues or personal issues. It could be about ourselves, our body, finances, relationships etc.

The way we talk to ourselves matters the most. There is a constant voice in our mind. It could be positive or negative. For example :
1. Oh god, I am so fat. I need to do something about it or else Ill look ugly. 2. My body is so precious. It does so much for me. I like it the way it is. I love myself.

Now lets look at the first example. It is a negative conversation that we have with ourselves. Like here we are blaming ourselves and putting ourselves down. Whereas, the second example is a positive conversation with our ourselves. Here we are thankful for our bodies and that it does so much for us.

We tend to believe what we say to ourselves. So, it becomes all the more important for us to be wary of it. The way we talk to ourselves can bring either joy or sorrow. The conversation we have with ourselves shouldnt rip us apart. Rather, it should build us.

So, lets have a look at how we can have positive talks with ourselves.
Focus on positive changes: We keep on going through a lot of changes. Lets focus on the better changes and have positive self talks about the same. Also, if you counter any negative change, dont panic and try to turn things towards positivity.
Positive affirmations: Affirmations always helps us. They have the power to bring positivity around us. So, make it a habit to read some positive or motivational quotes or some affirmations that can make you feel good about yourself.
Be grateful: Be grateful for what you have and its purpose in your life. Being grateful will side line all the negativity.
Self love: And lastly, self love it is! It can solve anything and everything. When you love yourself the most, then everything else will fall into right places. Because when you love yourself you know what to prioritize. Self love always helps.

Positive self talk is a journey in itself. So, spend a little time talking to yourself, like how you feel, how was your day, what you ate grateful for today or what made you happy.
These things are really helpful and can cheer us up. I hope you liked the blog.
Happy reading 歹

Self doubt : A negativity to kill!

No one wants negativity in life, neither you nor me! But still in some or the other way, we lead ourselves towards negativity and self doubt. And let me tell you that its absolutely okay. We can always try and find positivity even in the negative things around us.

Here I have listed few ways to avoid self doubt and start loving yourself. Since, it leads to tension, anxiety or mental issues. Do give it a read and I am sure youll agree to it.
1. Perfectionism : Nothing in life is perfect! It is not feasible at all still we want to attain perfectionism. Failure of which makes us feel unworthy, disgusting and we doubt ourselves! What we can do instead is, giving our best and not aiming it to be perfect. It will lead to happiness.
2. Judgement : Judging ourselves and others leads to pointing out negative qualities and we surely dont want to upset others or ourselves. What is doable is instead of judging we can point out the good qualities of others and of course yourself. It will make you delighted and cheerful.
3. Self doubt : It is a sort of weed, an unwanted plant that we grow inside ourselves which carves a path towards feeling unwanted and unworthy. We all need to scrap this weed out and plant the seeds of self love. If we love ourselves than no one, not even you can make you feel unworthy.
4. Assuming that things can go wrong : This is something that we all face. Isnt it? Before anything happens we assume that it can go wrong, what if it goes right. Even the thought of the things going right makes us happy. When we think that things can go wrong it leads to dismay and we dont want that. We must give in the best that we can, and assume that it will go right, and believe me, it will definitely go right.
5. Controlling everything : We cant control everything, something or the other will get missed. So, we should think about the things that we can control. Because controlling things that you cant control will make you sad, and no one wants that.

Making these little special changes in life makes huge difference. Do let me know your thoughts on same. I would love to read them!
Happy reading

Cherish your inner beauty 歹

Cherishing and admiring your inner beauty is the most beautiful way to love yourself. It is vital than physical beauty. Inner beauty is something that is innate and one must cherish it, as and when possible. I know it is a bit obscure because we are used to accept someone by their status, class, appearance, physical beauty or profession. But all of this is close to zero if we do not pay attention to ones inner beauty.

Its a persons inner self that speaks volume. One must always feel good about themselves irrespective of their flaws and scars. Embrace yourself, for one you nurture yourself you shine for within, and that is most beautiful! 歹
You can try these following ways in order tofall in love with yourself and nurture your inner beauty, then see yourself glowing and shining from within!

Self love : The best thing you can ever do to your self is loving yourself. Only when you love your self youll be able to love others. Go in front of a mirror and look yourself, and admire the way you do to others. And I am sure this will uplift your mood instantly.
Be yourself : You are Gods unique creation, so why not enjoy it to the max! Being yourself is the best. Avoid trying to be someone you are not, because it will never be beneficial for you. So always, be your unique self.
Be compassionate and kind : In a world where you can be anything, be kind. Being kind and compassionate to others is always a good idea. Try to focus on the positive side of a person, thing or any situation.
Surround yourself with the people you love: And lastly, be with the person you love. They can bring out the best in you and theyll always support you no matter what. Be with the people who make you happy, calm and support you despite anything.

I am sure these ways will help you out to cherish your inner beauty. Keep loving yourself and keep shining.
Happy reading 歹

Sympathy, Empathy and Compassion

Brene Brown said, Compassion is not a virtue, it’s a commitment. It’s not something we have or not have, it’s something we choose to practice.

So, today’s blog is about sympathy and empathy, and how it leads to compassion.

Sympathy means acknowledging someone else’s sufferings without supporting or encouraging them. It’s more like being sorry for someone and not getting involved in their situation. After understanding one’s feelings or state of mind, the work of a sympathetic person stops there itself.

Unlike a sympathetic person, the one who is empathetic puts himself in the shoes of the other person while acknowledging their situation or state of mind. It requires emotions and involvement. An empathetic person feels the same like the person in front of him. It comes from a place of love. They don’t watch the person narrating his story, moreover he feels the surrounding and can relate to the story.
Like sympathy is acknowledging other’s feelings, empathy is experiencing other’s feelings. Now, compassion is an active component, it involves action and work has to be done. When someone tells you their feeling then first listen to it, try to feel the same way they are feeling and validate their feelings. And later after complete listening ask them if they need support or suggestions and how you can help them. It doesn’t comes easy, but when practiced, you will be proud of yourself for being able to help others.

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Selfcare

Self care, in my opinion is taking care of ourselves and concentrating on bettering ourselves and simultaneously falling in love with our flaws and accepting as we are, our uniqueness.

Self care is not only about taking physical care but it also comprises of taking care of ourselves emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. Now we’ll look into each of these categories and know what they have to offer.

Also read: Forgive yourself

1. Physical self care: Physical self care means taking care of our body and listening to the needs of our body. It doesn’t only include exercise, but like earing healthy, playing your favourite sport, going out for walks, relaxing when we are tired etc. Physical self care is doing something that relaxes our body and at the same time offering it its needs.
2. Emotional self care: Emotional self care means tuning in with your emotions. It includes checking on yourself and understanding what are emotions are trying to tell us. One should not ignore their emotions, because they play a major role in our lives.
3. Intellectual self care: Doing something that nourishes our mind is what we call intellectual self care. It means understanding our thoughts, doing something that helps us grow and benefits our personal development. Such as reading a book.
4. Spiritual self care : Spiritual self care nourishes our soul. It allows us to strive peace and see joy in little things. It also comprises of being calm and staying at peace through meditating, listening good music or spending time in nature.
So, self care doesn’t only means taking care of our body it comprises of taking care of our mind, soul and emotions as well. If hope you liked it. Please feel free to mention your thoughts below.

Also read: Toxic positivity

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Forgive yourself

Forgiveness is a gift that we can gift ourselves!! Many of us cling to what we have done wrong and the mistakes we make. We often live with the guilt of doing wrong. Self forgiveness means accepting our mistakes and try to change your behaviour or make up to the person to whom we did wrong.

For example, every year, a number of students give their exams. Among them, many of them are afraid of their results and have a fear that they might fail. So much so , this fear of failure is so huge that many of them decide to give up their lives. This wouldn’t be the case if these students were confident enough to perceive that marks don’t define them. Instead, they can check what mistakes they made, forgive themselves and work hard in next upcoming exam.

Also read: Don’t be too hard on yourself!

We must introspect ourselves, accept our mistakes, genuinely say sorry and do not carry the guilt forever. We should allow ourselves to move forward without a burden of guilt in our hearts, for we are not perfect and we all make mistakes but as long as we accept the mistake we are on the right path.

Self forgiveness empowers us and helps us to move forward. It permits as to make peace with our past and mistakes and aids us to bring a better future. It genuinely makes us happy. Moreover, when we accept our mistakes and forgive ourselves then we bring forth a better version of ourselves. The one we can be proud of!!

Some ways to forgive ourselves are:
1. Face your problems and be confident to accept your mistakes.
2. Write yourself an apology letter.
3. Own your mistakes. Don’t be shameful.
4. Don’t carry the guilt for so long.
5. Commit to change.

Everyone deserves to be forgiven, so do you! So, if you haven’t yet then sit down, write down your mistakes and forgive yourself. Also, be sure to not make those mistakes again or else your forgiveness will go in vain.
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Don’t be too hard on yourself!!

We all have been in a place where when something bad happens to us we blame ourselves for that. We get disappointed with ourselves and sob for our mistakes. We tend to harm or punish ourselves. And even, many a times we might do something that can have serious consequences on our life.

So, here I am to tell you that don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s okay if the things didn’t work out the way we want them to be. It’s okay if an idea of yours don’t go as you visualize it. I know it’s hard to believe, but you matter the most over everything! No failure or mistake made by you can be huge than you. You matter the most!

All you have to remember is you are where you are meant to be! The mistakes and failures that you make do not define you. Those are just a phase of your life. They come and they go. What matters is what you learnt from it and that is what defines you!!

Also read: Body positivity and how you can achieve it!

Here I am mentioning some ways that might help you to be at peace with yourself.
1. Recognize your mistake, apologize and don’t carry the guilt: We all make mistakes. It’s natural. But when you make one you must apologize for it. And when you do that make sure to not make that mistake all over again. Instead, learn a lesson from it.
2. Prioritize yourself: None of the mistake you make or failure you go through defines you. So, forgive yourself. Do not carry the guilt of it throughout your life.
3. It doesn’t define you: Let me tell you that your achievements, lessons, thoughts, acts, manners and your attitude defines who you are and that is what should matter in your life.

Also read: A note on self love

Remember these points whenever you make a mistakes and practice them. Nothing is above you!! You matter . I hope that this helps you all.
Happy reading!!

Toxic Positivity: The dark side of Positivity!!

Have you ever experienced a dark side of positivity? Did you ever felt that even though you are happy and positive, things are bothering you?
It is because of TOXIC POSITIVITY. Toxic positivity is when you deny your negative thoughts, emotions, difficult things, hardships and all those things which are not so good” and focus only on the positive side. For example, you are facing anxiety issues and you are not ready to accept it. You try to cover it by trying to be positive and hiding or ignoring anxiety. This is toxic positivity! But, if you accept that you have anxiety issues and you try to overcome it by seeking help is what POSITIVITY is called.
So, in simple words when you ignore your negative emotions and pay heed only to positive emotions then you are practicing toxic positivity.

Impact of toxic positivity
1. When you ignore negative emotions, they increase and will affect your mental health.
2. You might put yourself at risk. Like, if you face anxiety issues and you ignore them, then your anxiety level will increase hence, putting your life at risk.
3. When you ignore negative emotions, it gives an impression that you are happy every time, which practically is impossible. By doing this, it makes you less approachable as people will think that you won’t understand their negative emotions.

Also Read: It’s okay not to be okay!

What can you do?
1. Accept your emotions, positive as well as negative. Then, try to find out ways to cope with it.
2. Agree to the fact that negative emotions cannot diminish from your life. They are a part of our lives.
3. Listen and acknowledge your emotions.
4. If needed, ask for help from friends, family or professionals.

Here is a list of things that might help you:
1. Instead of you’ll overcome it say you have survived before and you’ll survive this too”.
2. Instead of just be happy say I know time is tough right now. Happy days are coming”.
3. Instead of failure is not an option say it’s okay to fail. You learn from them.
4. Instead of stop being negative” say its okay to be negative at times”.
5. Instead of just be happy” say how can I help to make your mood better?.

Also Read: Stop Apologizing for yourself.

I hope this might have helped you. Feel free to mention what you think about this. Have a nice day.
Happy reading

It’s Okay Not To Be Okay! 

Rough paths, bad days, hard and tough situations, negative thoughts, every human on this earth faces all of this. And, it’s okay!! It’s not possible for any of us to be happy all the time. We all go through moments when we shatter, we break, we cry, we think negatively. And.. all of it is okay. We have days when we feel we aren’t worthy enough. We get stressed, worried, sad, depressed or disappointed when we cannot do what we want. There are days when we are left unmotivated and with no creativity and all that comes in our mind is giving up!! We start doubting ourselves, our abilities and capabilities. Its okay. It’s okay not to be okay!

Also read: Stop Apologizing for yourself

There is no need to be strong all the time. There’s no need to be positive every time. You don’t have to be happy. Don’t be guilty for not being productive on a particular day. It’s okay to sit, sulk and cry the shit out. And don’t be guilty or find excuses or reasons to explain yourselves. You DON’T have to be 24/7 happy. It’s just not possible at all! Do not feel bad and do not think that you are alone in this. No, you are not. Everyone has their moments of being sad.

But, what’s not okay is to keep thinking about that only. It’s not okay to keep going on with that negative thought, with sad or depressed feeling. You may take time. Cry the shit out. Sulk. Have your moments of sadness. But, then make it a point to get up. Gather yourself. Think why did it happen. Try it again or mould things in a different way. Maybe you would be successful this time.

Also read: Emotions

The only reason why we are told to be positive is because that will attract other positive things in your life. So, it’s okay not to be okay. But later on, gather yourself, move ahead. Avoid self-doubt. Avoid doubting your capabilities and try again.

Happy reading

Stop Apologizing for Yourself 

From our childhood, when we were taught about good manners from our parents they always mentioned about the three magical words THANKYOU, SORRY AND PLEASE. Out of them, sorry is one which we use again and again. We kept it in our mind and said sorry” for every time we make a mistake. It is good, but we all need to understand that we should not say sorry for ourselves!!

Also Read: Emotions

We often say sorry so that we don’t offend anybody and be in their good books. But, when you say sorry for being you then you are offending yourself!!

Also Read: Mental health during lockdown

Here are three things you should stop apologizing for:
1. SPEAKING UP FOR YOURSELF: Okay, so stop apologizing when you are speaking up for yourself. Let me make it easy with an example. So, you have completed your 12th and now you want to take up Photography as your career, so you dont have to be sorry about it. It’s your passion and you should follow it. Likewise, if you have an opinion and if it doesn’t match with others, it’s okay, you are not supposed to say sorry for it. Every time, when you speak for yourself, remember not to say sorry! Because if you won’t speak for yourself then who else would?
2. SAYING NO: Remember not to apologize when you say NO. You say NO when you don’t want to indulge in something, or when you don’t like something or when you are not comfortable with something. So, you don’t have to apologize for that. It’s your opinion. If you are not comfortable in doing something, then that’s okay. You don’t have to say sorry for it! It’s completely your wish as to what you want to do.
3. YOUR APPEARANCE: Saying sorry for your appearance is going to hurt you. Everyone will be judging you anyways. So, you don’t have to be sorry for what other person thinks about your appearance. There is so much more to you other than your looks. Never be sorry for how you look, because god created you. You are unique. And, you don’t have to be sorry for it!

Doing it will take time, but let’s just promise to ourselves that we will not apologize for being us. You and me, together will try our best in stop apologizing for above mentioned things. Because being ourselves is not a mistake, it’s a beautiful act!!

Happy reading